For those of you who know me will know that I have recently (well 4 weeks ago now) gone back to work after Maternity Leave. I chose not to go back to my previous job for many reasons so I have embarked on a completely new journey (you can read about this here).
There have been positives and negatives to going back to work and I have had a few wobbles where I’ve wanted to throw in the towel. But it is still early days so we are all still adjusting!
Scarlett seemed to settle into Nursery so well at first but recently she has been crying every time I’ve dropped her off and when I’ve picked her up. Obviously I am not aware of the in between. She eats and sleeps whilst there so I’m not sure if it is just for my attention. I honestly thought that working in Childcare would have helped this transition but if anything it has made it worse! I know how hard it is when a child is upset all day and nothing you can do will settle them – I just hope Scarlett does settle!
Also Scarlett has become quite difficult at home. She has always been such a laid back, independent baby and now she just wants to hang off my leg. She won’t self settle and will cry every time I leave a room. This makes me feel terrible because I don’t want her feel abandoned! On the plus side the time I do spend with her is spent cuddling 😀 She also had a few bad nights where she didn’t sleep and would wake absolutely beside herself and it was hard to console her. I’ve tried explaining that I will never leave her and I will always come back but shes too young to understand!
|I love the time we do get to spend together!|
With all the above said I feel terrible for saying this but I do love the independence working again brings. I am bringing in my own money which will help set Scarlett up for a better future and I can buy her nice things. I am also excited to spend some money on myself on payday!
The thing I miss most is the days we spent together when we would just slob around in our PJs and snuggle on the sofa. We still do this on the occasional weekend but then I feel bad that we haven’t done much! I guess I just put too much pressure on myself. As long as we are together nothing else should matter 🙂
I hope Scarlett will appreciate this later on in life and if you ever read this Scarlett.. I did it for you because I love you more than you’ll ever know <3