Controversial Parenting: My Parenting Choices

This post has been sitting in my drafts for months now but after some of the hate I’ve seen being thrown about I thought it was time I finished it off and had my say. There is enough hate in this world without us undermining each others parenting choices.

There will always be certain topics that are seen as “controversial parenting” but we as parents have to find ways of doing things that suit our family, right? Something that is right for my family unit may not even be an option for you. But thats okay.

Parenting is a massive learning curve and no two people will parent the same. Of course I have my opinion on ways of parenting. If I don’t agree with something or it isn’t my preferred choice – do I throw hate? No I don’t. Unless it is causing harm to anyone then why should it bother me? I just move on.

Some of the most common “controversial parenting” subjects are:

Birth Choices

I have had two natural births. Whilst I don’t think I would choose to have a caesarean (the thought absolutely terrified me both times) it is something I would have done if it meant the safe arrival of my children. Some women choose to have a caesarean due to anxiety surrounding birth. Just because it is not something I would have chosen, doesn’t make it wrong. I admire any women who gives life!

Co-Sleeping

Not something I really have an opinion on. If it works for you, and you do it safely, then go with it! Little would happily settle in our bed but Baby would see it as play time. But I am all for getting some sleep and I agree with Becky that there is something so precious about having a baby curled up sleeping next to you.

Reigns

They are not something I would personally use because I find them a bit dog lead like. But also not something I would judge other parents for using. I am very lucky that Little is very road savvy and I’ve been able to give her the freedom to explore independently. I don’t think the same will be said about Baby – she is definitely my wild child!

Breast Vs. Bottle

The less I say the better. Some of the comments I see being thrown around about this  is not something I want to get involved in. Both my girls are formula fed, Little from day one and Baby was combination fed until around 6ish weeks before moving solely to formula. I found expressing really difficult and it wasn’t really an option with a toddler to look after too. I take my hat off to those like Julie who exclusively expressed for 7 and a half months! Breastfeeding isn’t always easy and not always an option either. Lets just praise each other for feeding our children – however we choose to!

Baby Wearing

I was always on the fence with this because I read so many things about the problems if babies aren’t worn correctly. But truth is I love wearing Baby. I am yet to try a wrap or sling, I just use a baby carrier. But I am looking to branch out into the world of slings/wraps. I admire Amber and her wife Kirsty for their tandem baby wearing – how cute are their twins? Karen has a fab post on the types of carriers!

Food choices

Babyled weaning or traditional? Choosing to wean early? Someone will always have something to say on this. I baby led weaned Little and have done the same with Baby. However, I do also spoon feed her if its a particularly messy meal. Like Sarah I can’t stand the mess. Controversies aside – do what you feel is right for YOU!

controversial parenting

Electronics

As controversial as it is, I allow my children to watch TV. Little also has her own phone (my old one that only works on wifi and only has selected apps on it!). I am obviously very select in what I let her watch. She doesn’t spend hours sitting watching her phone and we spend lots of time out and about! And it gives me a few minutes break so I’m all for it. If you think otherwise than that is your opinion and you are entitled to it!

What do you think about these controversial topics? Have you ever received hate based on your choices as a parent?

Thank you to all the fellow parents who helped me put this post together and for never judging me based on my parenting choices!

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18 Comments

  1. I have never recieved hate, well not any that I know of, or even digested. But like you said, every family and parent is different, you do what you do and no one should judge you for it.

  2. You should be so proud of bringing up your little ones. We all do what’s best for our children and family and that’s most important – doing what works for us. There are some things I said I’d never do that I do now. TV was definitely one of them but I do occasionally put it on as it gives me a chance to have a cup of tea or just take a breath.
    Debbie – Hello Deborah recently posted…June Bullet Journal SetupMy Profile

  3. Loved reading this! Fed is best, honestly. I wanted to breastfeed but for several reasons, I wasn’t able to make it work at all so my little monkey is formula fed also. I don’t care how babies are fed as long as they’re fed, that’s my opinion about it. It’s just awful when here in Finland literally everything goes around breastfeeding and people who don’t have a fucking clue why my baby is fed with formula instead of breastmilk I’ll get all the shit to my back because of it. I’ve been told that I’m a bad mother 😀 Usually I answer that hey, I didn’t choose to have these genes where my breasts are so enormous that it makes the whole process impossible. Or something else.

  4. I had to use reigns for my son. He was an early walker (9 months!) so therefore he didn’t have the maturity to deal with it. When I was heavily pregnant with my second, the reigns saved his life I’d say!! No way I could chase him in my state. We live in France now where reigns are never used and you would get laughed or shouted at!! Babies stay in their strollers until they can use a scooter!

  5. It really annoys me and pains me when I hear or see judgemental comments on other people’s parenting choices. Everyone has their own ideas on how to bring up a child and if they’re not harming the baby then who are we to judge what is right or wrong? Xx

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