Let’s be honest here, relationships after children will never be quite the same, will they? This has most definitely been the case for James and I. We have been through all the emotions since becoming parents over 3 years ago! Gosh at one point I didn’t think we’d make it here, to tell another story!
Sometimes I struggle to be completely open on this little blog of mine. Not because I don’t want to be, but for fear of being judged! This blog was created when I was feeling my most alone, after being just a reader for so long. But I wanted to be that person behind the blog that helped even one person feel like they were not alone in their feelings! So I’m going to be straight with you.
As much as I love the girls and absolutely know just how fortunate we are to have been blessed with two healthy, happy girls! I do miss the relationship James and I had before the girls.
You know the spontaneous kind. When you could just decide on a whim to go away for the weekend! Or you’d stay up late talking about the most random of rubbish and try your damned hardest to put the world to rights? Or you could have little arguments, pretend its over and then everything was fine again the next day!
Becoming parents pushed us to our limits. We had been together 6 years before Little S came along yet even that wasn’t long enough to prepare us for the pressures that came with parenting!
I’d resent him for leading a pretty normal life (going to work, football on a Tuesday) whilst I was at home feeling like my life was pretty much dirty nappies, two hourly feeds and no time to even take a poo! Yet he was at work resenting me for being at home and taking on all the pressures of bills and Statutory Maternity Pay.
We lost a part of us. That spark that made us ‘us’! We struggled to adapt to our new lives and pined for our old ones. Communication was lost so neither of us knew how the other was feeling until something would come to a head!
I would take on the weight of the world because I was stubborn and didn’t feel like I should ask for help. And James would struggle to feel involved which resulted in him not trying!
But the truth is if you want something enough you will make it work. And thats exactly what we did. Ok so it had to get pretty bad for it to get good again but this is us now! The four of us, happy together.
And although I do miss the us before children, relationships after children aren’t all bad. You just have to learn to share yourself and your heart!