Mental health is such a scary word. Remember when you were growing up and mental was one of the biggest insults you could have thrown at you! You’d imagine a person in a straight jacket being carted off to a big mental hospital. I think for me this is why I struggled on for so long. I didn’t want to be told I was mental and I was scared that my child would be taken away from me!
Let me assure you this is not the case at all. Since being a part of the blogging community and being connected with so many like minded parents I have realised just how talked about mental health is. This is such a positive thing because I remember feeling so isolated at the time and thought I was the only person to have ever felt that way! I have wanted to write about my experience but whenever I sit down to do so, I cannot find the appropriate words to describe exactly what went through my mind and how I felt.
So instead I will tell you about the things I learnt in CBT and how they helped me.
I suffer with anxiety
It wasn’t until I started CBT that I discovered that actually the main cause of my PND was anxiety. Just having a reason behind the way I was feeling helped. It helped me feel less like a failure as a parent.
I am good enough
The way I was feeling was absolutely no reflection on me as a person or a parent. Once I looked deeper into my feelings and the reasons I felt that way I realised I was worth of some me time!
I am in charge of me
I went into CBT expecting the therapist to fix me. When actually I am in charge of fixing myself! You have to be willing to put in the work and use the tools they provide you with.
I am not cured
As above I am not fixed and I don’t think I ever will be. But by understanding anxiety and that it is a part of my life, has helped me to keep it under control. Even when my anxiety is sky high I have the tools available to me to cope and if ever I don’t – I know there is help!
I will be okay
Although feelings of anxiety are crippling I do know I will be okay. Because I do suffer with anxiety, but I am good enough and I am in charge of me!
I hope by writing this it may help someone somewhere to get the help they deserve. If like me you are feeling isolated I will always lend a listening ear because YOU ARE NOT ALONE!