To The Parent I Once Judged

To The Parent I Once Judged

To the parent I once judged – I apologise.

Pre-child I had this image of what parenthood would look like. Just think happiness and light, lunch dates and strolls in the sun! Sounds good doesn’t it? Boy did parenthood hit me back to earth with a bang! Ok so some days look a little like that (but with food all over the floor) but some days will literally chew you up and spit you back out.

Along my parenthood journey there have been many realisations. Realisations that have made me want to apologise for all the ignorant pre-child things I did!

To the parent of the tantruming child – I’m sorry.

Now before I had children of my own I was that person who would give that look to the parent who’s child would be screaming round the supermarket. That look as if to say shut it up!

For that I am sorry. Now I will salute you – parent to parent because I know how tough that is. Feeling judged by every other person in there. Not knowing the best way to deal with it! Wondering if someones posting about you in the local Facebook group – ‘Did anyone else see that lady totally lose her shit in Asda today?’

To the parent not replying to my text – I’m sorry.

Yes I thought you were just being an arse for not texting me back.

Now I know you were just probably busy caring for your child. Jeez I’ve gone days meaning to send a reply but something always needs to take priority. Then when you finally get a minute you quickly check Facebook to see what drama Susan’s gotten herself into now!

To the parent putting their child in daycare – I’m sorry.

Ok so I may have judged a few parents in my time for putting their child in daycare when they clearly had a day off.

I didn’t realise that a day off didn’t actually mean a day off! I know you were probably busy catching up on housework or running 150 errands! I send Little to nursery every Wednesday despite being on Maternity Leave! I just need that time to face the rest of the week.

To the parent of a child not wearing a coat – I’m sorry.

What was I supposed to think when even I’m freezing my danglies off in my coat?

Little did I know that sometimes it’s just best to choose your battles very wisely! I’d allow Little to go out naked in the snow (not really!) if it meant she’d go quietly.

To the parent who rocks their child to sleep – I’m sorry.

I may have thought you were just making a ‘rod for your own back!’

Ugh how I hate that term now. Like you I would do anything to get my child to sleep! I totally get that.

To the parent who wanted to spend their child free night at home – I’m sorry.

Ok you are not boring in the slightest.

I too would spend that one evening watching anything but kids TV, not sharing my food and having a bath alone!

To the parent who allows their child to have a dummy – I’m sorry.

Although Little didn’t ever take to one – I could not be without a dummy with Baby. So I’m sorry I ever judged!

to the parent

So from one parent to another. I’m sorry for being an unempathetic, ignorant arse. Let’s unite in our choices to parent the way we do!

Can I get a hell yeah?



  1. February 17, 2017 / 7:39 am

    Yes! It’s so easy to judge and imagine the ‘perfect’ children you will have, but reality is often very different 🙂

  2. February 17, 2017 / 1:46 pm

    It is so so easy to judge and see things in a different light until you have your own and you’re sat realising why it’s so tough sometimes & why others from the outside are judging.

    You’re doing an amazing job though mama, never forget that xx

    • Amy
      February 17, 2017 / 4:41 pm

      Thank you lovely ox

  3. February 17, 2017 / 2:29 pm

    None of us have any idea how it feels to be a parent until we are doing it ourselves!
    I was just the same, parenting certainly is grounding!

  4. February 17, 2017 / 7:34 pm

    I don’t remember being that judgemental, but now I definitely look at other parents with empathy. Especially those whose children are having a meltdown or whose children are dressed inappropriately, There are definitely battles I decide aren’t worth fighting.

  5. February 17, 2017 / 8:07 pm

    I had a little smile at all of these because I’ve thought exactly the same! Especially the bit about daycare and the dummy! I cringe now at some of the things I’ve thought in the past! Thank you for a great Friday night read.

  6. February 17, 2017 / 8:17 pm

    I didn’t know what a dummy was….LOL! My kids sucked their finger in utero and even continued after being born. We didn’t use pacifiers (dummy’s).

  7. February 17, 2017 / 8:24 pm

    I’m not a parent yet, but I def appreciate this as more of my friends start having kids. Kids really do change everything and create an element of spontaneity. I will def try to be more understanding.

  8. February 17, 2017 / 8:51 pm

    Yup, you learn a lot when you become a parent! You might think your kids will never do something, but they almost always do.

    Oh, and HELL YEAH!

  9. February 17, 2017 / 9:04 pm

    Love this post. It is so true. Until you’ve got kids of your own you don’t realise the challenges parents face. I’m embarrassed to admit I used to be quite judgey about breastfeeding beyond the age of one, even saying to my friends that I thought it was a bit ‘weird’. Then I had my daughter and fed her till 27 months. Humble pie eaten. I now know that every parent has the right to parent as they please. X

  10. February 17, 2017 / 10:43 pm

    Such a lovely post! I think we’ve all done it one way or another and now having a baby it really makes us look at things differently xx

  11. February 18, 2017 / 8:37 am

    I don’t have kids so I can’t say I can relate but I feel like all the things I currently judge parents on you mentioned so I better be careful cause I might be in for a rude awakening huh? My friend just had her second kid and I totally commend her on how she handles everything plus a full time job! I think parents definitely need to be given more credit!

  12. February 18, 2017 / 2:10 pm

    LOL, I love this because I was one of the first one to have kids in my circle of friends and they never understood how hard it was. But now that my kids are old and they are just getting started, we joke about how the tables have turn, lol! Thanks for apologizing it good to hear that now you understand what we were going through! Don’t worry it get better, Happy parenting!

  13. February 19, 2017 / 12:23 am

    Really great perspective! I’m not a parent yet, but I really enjoyed reading this post. I bet it’s easy to judge other parents right off the bat.

  14. February 19, 2017 / 5:28 pm

    Hell yeah .Been there done that.On this side and struggling.Moms need to be kind all the time .No break Life is beautiful and tough.Deeply insightfull post

  15. February 19, 2017 / 7:21 pm

    I’m not a parent but I see non-parents and parents judge other parents all the time. I know it’s not easy and everyone parents differently and every child is different. I love this post and your perspective.

  16. February 19, 2017 / 9:27 pm

    Parenting like anything else that you haven’t experienced before can’t be understood until you’re experiencing it yourself, You may not realise that till afterwards at least your humble enough to admit it. There is a ‘friend’ of mine always commenting about children, (on FB) why dont parents just take them out if they are crying, why dont they just do this and that, when people say but your not a parent he bites back… Hes about to become a parent! I doubt he would admit he was wrong but we shall see 🙂 you have two gorgeous little ones,what a cute pic!

    • Amy
      February 19, 2017 / 9:29 pm

      Thank you very much! It’s so hard to pass judgement until you’re in that position. Shame I was too young and naive to believe that at the time! ox

  17. February 19, 2017 / 11:35 pm

    This is a great post. I think we’re all guilty of doing the pre-children-judging thing! I don’t think anything can ever prepare you for this new world of parenting. #blogcrush

    • Amy
      February 20, 2017 / 12:27 am

      You are so right! It’s a total guessing game half the time ox

  18. February 20, 2017 / 3:04 am

    There are so many realizations really when you are the one experiencing it. Sometimes its easy for us to judge but when we experience it we will just realize that.

  19. Jewel
    February 20, 2017 / 3:10 am

    Thanks!! This is awesome. It is definitely easy to judge a situation without experiencing it for yourself. Until you become a parent you really don’t understand what it’s like.

  20. February 20, 2017 / 11:43 pm

    I was soooo judgemental about all of the above until exactly 12 weeks and 4 days ago. I was NEVER going to give my child a dummy and by day 2, I’d practically sellotaped it to her face. I realised then and there how clueless I’d been – Never judging again!

  21. February 22, 2017 / 11:19 am

    Loved this post, I shared it on twitter the other day as I found it so relatable. I’m literally the mum who ALWAYS forgets to text back, or misses appointments or meetings haha. I think its easy to judge someone when you haven’t been in that situation. Now when i see a child throwing tantrum in the supermarket, I always smile at the mum, give her some reassurance cause it can be humiliating. x

    • Amy
      February 22, 2017 / 11:54 am

      I am exactly the same or I’m the Mum with the tantruming child ox

  22. February 22, 2017 / 9:49 pm

    What a great honest post. It’s so easy to judge though isn’t it. Loved reading this post.

  23. February 27, 2017 / 11:47 am

    It’s always different as an outsider looking in: I’ll be the first to admit that before I became a mum, I was guilty of rolling my eyes at the mum with the tantruming child, more often than not. Now as a mum, you have a completely new perspective… sometimes you just have to let them tantrum,. Some reassurance rather than eye roll can make all the difference!

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